Going to the Mall with Grace

Going to the Mall with Grace
by Diane Abdo. Psy.D.

         Formally, the term “Grace” (as is referred to for our purposes here) is defined by the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary as: 1) “a controlled, polite and pleasant way of behaving”, 2) “disposition to or an act or instance of kindness, courtesy or clemency”, or 3) “the quality or state of being considerate or thought-filled”.

        Most of us can think of someone who interacted with us or others in a way that caused us to reflect upon them with respect and to feel respected.  In their presence, one may feel a sense of grounding and a reminder that the power of “Grace” transcends anger and ego.  It is respect-based kindness in its purest sense.  I describe “Grace” as an honoring of humanity that is not limited by judgmentalism, ego, false pride, anger or wounds.  Also, it is wholly distinguished from subservience or dependence.

        If we connect to a vision of being people who value kindness, respect and the importance of contributing toward the greater good; then, one person, one interaction, one opportunity at a time, we can contribute to a more grace-filled person, home, relationship community, and so on.  I think that a heart touched with kindness is forever changed.

        Opportunities for grace-filled moments exist in times of sadness, stress, loss and pain for ourselves and for others.  Times when we must accept unwelcomed change can be made less stressful and more hopeful when viewed through the grace-filled lens.
  
        The loving attitude that drives “Grace” provides benefits to the heart, mind, and body, both for those who adopt the grace-filled approach and for those receiving the kindness of grace-filled interactions.  Much has been revealed through scientific research about the beneficial impact of kindness and positive thought on those in need of healing and those providing the kindness and positive thought.  By extension, this benefit travels beyond the individual toward whom it is directed as they may pay it forward on a personal level which may evolve toward a community level.

        During the Holiday season, and any other time of the year, life provides us many opportunities to be grace-filled.  Following are some basic rules of “Grace”:

• Choose emotional generosity (Hmmm…this could be another article).
• Believe in your philosophy without imposing it on others.
• Hold tightly to positive thoughts and words in interactions.
• Anticipate how your words and actions will affect the other person.
• Be self-protective without being hostile (another topic deserving of its own newsletter article).
• View retaliation as counter-productive and damaging to yourself and the potential for “Grace”, and
• Do not allow anger, history, judgmentalism, pride or ego to enter an interaction before you do.

       
What does “Grace” mean to you?  Who comes to mind when you think about “Grace”?  Can you think of a movie character, relative or friend who seems to be a representative of this concept?  What is a small gesture you can offer today that could provide a moment of “Grace” to someone else?  What do you need to change in your attitude or manner to have “Grace” lead your life?
      
        Well, you are going to the mall right?

        When we stand in kind intention, the frustrations of stolen parking spots, rushing crowds, impatient customers, and others’ rudeness look and feel like minor inconveniences rather than points to argue.  Take a step back in your mind and forward in your heart…and go shopping with “Grace”.

Dr. Abdo wants you to connect with your inner peace to experience and develop the sense of empowerment that is rooted in this awareness.  Dr. Abdo believes that, with personal knowledge and enhanced life skills, an individual can actively participate in the course of his or her journey freed of unseen and potentially defeating influences.  She approaches her efforts to help others grow with the deep belief that we must be consciously and proactively involved in the dance steps of our lives to reach our goals and actualize our dreams. 

For more information contact Dr. Abdo at (561) 393-5363.