Chaos and confusion: A Healthy Part of Life

Chaos and Confusion: A Healthy Part of Life
By Dr. Diane Abdo
 
With great certainty we can expect that life will present us with many challenges through the years and stages of our lives. Usually, just when we begin to think that we have the many demands that we face in our daily lives under some kind of control, some unexpected event or situation forces us to deal with that often dreaded thing called “change”.  Many of us react to the concept of change as though riding through turbulence without a harness. Often, facing the unexpected, or a situation in which too many needs or goals are battling for the same moment of free time, can throw a person into a sense of being surrounded by overwhelming confusion or chaos. Each person faces their own version of this confusion depending upon the makeup of their life’s activities.
 
Chaos or confusion is a wonderful thing. Were it not for this confusion, clarity would go unnoticed.  We live in a world where change and adaptation are necessary for survival.  Chaos and confusion are the essential elements that prompt us to gather our resources and resiliency and create sense out of disarray.  One can view chaos as an opportunity to reprioritize, to regain strength through the process of refocusing and to design definition where there was once only fog.  That definition, or focus, is really a statement about ourselves… our character, our self-image, our values, our attitudes and our sense of inner strength. 
 
Many of us buckle in the face of confusion or chaos.  Usually we buckle because we believe that it (life’s chaos) is stronger than we are and that we are inadequate to tackle it.  That sense of powerlessness is indication of the nature of our personal belief system and self-concept.  When we unconsciously believe that we are inadequate, powerless, weak and inferior, we will feel that way.  Remember that our thoughts greatly determine our emotions.  Further, it is important to realize that a feeling of powerlessness is based in fear more often than in reality.  When we doubt our right or ability to have an impact, create a change, or make a statement that will affect others’  as well as our lives, we are choosing inhibition and giving up our power as a way of avoiding one of life’s challenges. Some of us do this out of fear of taking responsibility for our actions (although ultimately we are responsible for an act of avoidance - or covert action - as much as a direct behavior).  Some of us choose passivity and powerlessness because our attitudes and self-concepts are negative, thereby de-energizing us emotionally.
 
Feelings of (or a belief in our) powerlessness can originate in negative and faulty early self-concept development.  Subtle messages to your subconscious mind that revolve around the concept of “you can’t” or “don’t take a risk, you will lose” can strongly influence your attitudinal approach to life. This belief in powerlessness or inadequacy to make an effective contribution or change can manifest in a variety of ways.  Frequently, those who inwardly feel powerless may unwittingly demonstrate that inner self-belief by appearing passive and disinterested or avoidant in their approach to people, events or significant issues in life.
Some may confuse aggression with determination in purpose, displaying inappropriate negative behavior in an effort to compensate for feelings of weakness.
 
In order to overcome the negative impact of this disabling erroneous belief in our powerlessness, we must challenge it by directly addressing it’s irrationality.  If we do not rise to a challenge, no matter how intimidating the prospect or how small our steps, no positive change can occur. In order to have a psychologically healthy life, we must have balance. In order to have balance, we must take risks… calculated, strategic and intuitively felt risks. For some, it is a risk to rise in the morning to face a day filled with children schedules meals and laundry. A sense of self can easily get lost in the hectic onslaught of demands a growing family presents.  The prospect of combining a family and career can give new meaning to the term “chaos”.   The same amount of energy that simple risks require can serve to fuel greater risks step-by-step.  Each step can energize the next.  If you focus on the number and height of the steps ahead, you can lose sight of the steps you have taken.  Focus instead on how great it feels to have traveled to your current point of achievement.  Feel that enriching energy and let it help propel you toward the future.   While you are on your way, enjoy the chaos.  The energy that can be spent resisting it could better serve to encourage you to create a focus in the fog.
 
The following guided imagery scenario may be helpful to you either during the course of your chaotic moments or as a daily perspective setter.  Simply spend a few minutes, in a comfortable setting, with your eyes closed.   While you take even and gentle breaths, visualize the following scene as frequently as you feel is necessary and energizing.
 
See yourself standing in a large and empty room. You are standing straight and tall and you appear to be feeling confident and positive. See in front of you (as you stand in your mental image) a large box filled with all the factors which you consider to constitute the confusion or chaos in your life (e.g. people, situations, issues, etc.).  Notice that, in your mind’s eye, you begin to grow larger and larger as the box becomes smaller and smaller.  As you see yourself growing, you feel strong, secure and capable.  Soon the box of confusion is minuscule in relation to you.  Experience that image for a few moments as you breathe evenly and feel the confidence it represents.  You may now open your eyes and move forward into your day.

Dr. Abdo strives to help you connect with your inner peace and develop the empowerment that is rooted in your unique awareness.  She believes that, with personal knowledge and enhanced life skills, you can proactively participate in the course of your journey.  Dr. Abdo approaches her efforts to help you grow with the deep belief that we must be consciously engaged in the dance steps of our lives to reach our goals and actualize our dreams.