Springtime within

Springtime Within
by Diane Abdo, Psy.D.

Ahh Springtime!  The glorious time of year that brings renewal, fresh opportunity for growth and new beginnings.  We can experience that renewal- that fresh opportunity- whenever we need.  We can experience a ”Springtime Within” once we realize that each challenge, painful experience, and ending holds a new beginning.  It’s all in how we choose to view the situation.

Three perspectives come to mind as I consider finding inner springtime. 

• Grace: which generally refers to kindness, consideration and thoughtfulness. 
• Freedom: which refers to the power of choice. 
• Responsibility:  which refers to owning conscientious and healthy intention and action.

Most of us have lived through situations in which we felt there was no positive option or that we had no good available choice.  Grace is the soft spot that lives between “the rock and the hard place”.  Freedom and Responsibility shape and support the soft spot.

Which memory might you have of that compromised feeling of being between a rock and a hard place or having no choice?  A situation at work?  With an employer?  A friend?  A family member? One that may be easily recognizable involves being a single and middle-aged person with limited time and financial resources who is the sole caregiver of an aged parent with declining cognitive ability.  Whew!  Just the thought of this challenge can summon all kinds of stress!

Conceivably, in this situation, the “Rock” may be the need to maximize independence;  and, the “Hard Place” may be the unwavering desire to protect, provide for, attend to and meet the ever-increasing needs for the dependent and impaired parent.  It may seem that the divergent needs and intentions of the caregiver cannot peacefully co-exist.  However, Grace, Freedom and Responsibility can lighten the heaviest burden.

In this example, a Grace-filled attitude and thought process would support and lift the caregiver’s heart, thereby helping them to see and then feel any positive in the situation.    The caregiver may recognize the healing power of the love and caring intention they provide their parent.  The emotional and physiological benefits of providing love extend to the giver (as well as the receiver).   As positive thoughts cause positive emotions in the caregiver, this positive perspective becomes the frame through which they look at their life circumstances.  From this uplifted perspective, one can more easily, effectively and joyfully organize and plan their time and energy.

With Freedom comes Responsibility.  Regardless of life’s challenges, we always have the Freedom to choose our thoughts, attitudes and perspectives.  Further, we have the Responsibility to design our thoughts to be positive, grace-filled and strengthening.  In this way, Grace, Freedom and Responsibility support each other and demonstrate a system of thought choices that are powerfully life-enhancing.

To be more descriptive, the Springtime Within could happen in the following  way.

The caregiver can:

• Conscientiously choose to compassionately consider various options to meet his or her opposing needs (personal vs. parent care time) (Grace, Freedom, and Responsibility),
• Intend to do their very best in both aspects of life despite any limitations or special circumstances (Responsibility),
• Be compassionate enough to be aware that no one can do everything all of the time (Grace and Responsibility),
• Outline and plan action steps to address both issues and schedule time to follow through on each plan (Responsibility),
• Lovingly allow themselves and others sadness, frustration and moments of various emotions without judging themselves failures (Grace and Freedom),
• Show and feel compassion toward their and their parent’s feelings (Grace),
• Recognize the positive impact their efforts have in the moment and in the longer run (Grace and Freedom), and
• Remain conscious and grateful for the opportunity to face, and grow from, challenges and to provide love and comfort to those in need (Grace and Freedom).

Grace, Freedom and Responsibility are a team of perspectives that help individuals face difficult challenges with a sense of empowerment and possibility.  They lay the foundation for a “psychological springtime” and growth opportunity.  If we use our free choice to conscientiously look at ourselves and others through compassionate and kind thoughts, we can more easily feel the blessings within our difficulties.  In this way we can invite renewal and fresh opportunity into our lives whenever we need.

Dr. Abdo wants you to connect with your inner peace to experience and develop the sense of empowerment that is rooted in this awareness.  Dr. Abdo believes that, with personal knowledge and enhanced life skills, an individual can actively participate in the course of his or her journey freed of unseen and potentially defeating influences.  She approaches her efforts to help others grow with the deep belief that we must be consciously and proactively involved in the dance steps of our lives to reach our goals and actualize our dreams. 

For more information contact Dr. Abdo at (561) 393-5363.